Are we all just living in the fucking pre 2008 bubble burst Matrix? Why does baseball still have all this money? And if they actually do why are they spending it so cavalierly? Can’t you see the end is near?

Let’s get one thing out of the way. The NBA Trade Rumor scenarios that pop up on the Bleacher Reports of the world are just fat hobo nerds with access to NBA trade simulator.

You’re never going to recreate the feel of the ‘90s. And that’s what the Mighty Ducks have. Nostalgia. That’s it. I like fucking Ja Rule because he was popular when I was supposed to like popular music. Doesn’t mean I or anyone else should be jumping at Ja’s next double album release. Spoiler alert. It’s probably gunna blow.

at the NFC Championship game celebration in a sea of reporters, teammates, coaches all wearing masks, there’s Brady. No Mask. A Big Fuck You to The NFL, Godell, said teammates, reporters, coaches, Science.

Here I am, in my normal morning shit and phone routine, snoopin’ and poopin’ when I run across a video of “The Professor” from the AND 1 mix tapes back in the day.

The same way a Tom Brady seam route or a 1st to home double play get my knickers tight, Kobe Bryant carving up defenses with the foot work of a Russian Ballerina and sweet stroke of (insert your personal Hand Job King/Queen) brought a tear to my eye.

The Red Sox now boast the league’s deepest rotation of 3 & 4 starters but add a legit arm to the bullpen to go next to Barnes. I’ll take it.

Phillip Rivers has officially retired. For any of you living under a rock, Ole Philly Fertile has nine kids.

As I turned on my computer to watch TV like any self respecting millennial, I clicked to what I thought was going to be the Bruins Game. Low and behold, NESN no longer is available on You Tube TV. Did I get that MEMO Tom Caron?!