The Road map to 12-5
You wanna get crazy, lets get fucking crazy.
The Patriots 2023 schedule
vs EAGLES L
vs DOLPHINS L
@ JETS W
@ COWBOYS W
vs NEW ORLEANS W
@ RAIDERS W
vs BILLS L
@ DOLPHINS W
vs COMMANDERS W
vs COLTS W
BYE week 11
@ GIANTS W
vs CHARGERS W
@ STEELERS W
vs CHIEFS L
@ BRONCOS W
@ BILLS L
vs JETS W
If things go according to plan I have the Pats grabbing only 2 wins from the division and cleaning up on the rest of the league. Remember, with the Patriots finishing 3rd last year in the AFC East thye take on the other 3rd place finishers in other divisions. Third place teams stink. What’s the trick the Patriots have up their ass you ask? The walking nutsack of Patricia and Judge are not in charge of their offense and Mac’s about to take a leap. Lets break this down.
Week 1 vs Philadelphia Eagels L
The defending NFC champions just have too much talent to keep up with. The Pats struggle with duel threat QB’s and the offense won’t be clicking enough to keep up.
Week 2 vs Miami Dolphins L
I long ago deemed the Dolphins as a trash organization that does trash bag things. And I was right. This year is no different. They always start strong and then completely fall apart. You can’t sustain a South beach night life for an NFL season, however there should be just enough designer drugs in these guys to keep Tua up right and sustain his perfect record vs the Pats.
Week 3 @ New York Jets W
The Jets have not beaten the Patriots in 14 straight games. Some would say they are due. Some would say they are motivated. Some would say they are now expected to win with Aaron Rodgers. Nay, Aaron Rodgers has been
”due” for a 2nd Super Bowl for over a decade, Aaron Rodgers is motivated to take trippy drugs and not get hit, Aaron Rodgers may be expected to win, but this is the New York Football Jets. They will screw it up. Plus, BB hates these squids.
Week 4 @ Dallas Cowboys W
Dallas is in rebuild mode they just don’t know it yet. Jerry Jones pulled the old read between the lines flip the bird trick to his head coach and Qb when he traded for Trey Lance. Neither McCarthy or Dak will be a Cowboy next year. They are forever overrated and constantly play down to their competition. Watch out of Mac’s coming out party in Jerry World.
Week 5 vs New Orleans Saints W
The Saints have higher expectations for themselves than a lot of people give them credit for. They also have Derek Carr. They may surprise some people with their record at the end of the year, but Carr aint surprising BB in week 5.
Week 6 @ Las Vegas Raiders W
Vegas may sneaky be one of the worst teams in the league this year. McDaniels forgot where is bread was buttered in New England and now everbody hates him again. Chandler Jones Chapter 1’d this guy to death on the Gram. Jimmy G is a bitch, and Devante Adams will be traded at the deadline. Dumbest Play in NFL History (DPiN) redemption game.
Week 7 vs Buffalo Bills L
I can see the Pats splitting this season series, but the positions have flipped for these two teams. Until Mac Proves he can keep up with Allen it’s the Bills’ game to lose.
Week 8 vs Miami Dolphins W
This is right about where the wheels fall off for these trashbarrels. Tua will be out or Tyreek Hill will be arrested. That dork of a coach will lose faith in the club house. Some gay bashing or hazing will go down and the Dolphins will plummet for 4-6 weeks out of playoff contention. The steady boring Pats will be here to take advantage.
Week 9 vs Commanders W
Different owner - same shitty team.
Week 10 vs Colts W
Anthony Richardson has bust written all over him. I said early the Pats struggle with two dimensional QBs. This kid has zero dimensions. He’s a track and field star about to get pulverized.
Week 11 vs Giants W
Daniel Jones may be getting paid $40 million, but he’s worth butthole. For once the Patriots roster may be better than their opponent? Giants stink
Week 12vs Chargers W
Everyone’s darling, Justin Herbert may have all the physical qualities of a franchise QB, but he also may lack “IT”. Or his head coach is a turd and holding everyone back. Either way BB has this kid’s number and any team traveling West to East for an afternoon game is doomed.
Week 13 vs Steelers W
I see the Steelers in a very similar situation as the Patriots. Defensively orianted, want to run the ball, young QB. I give the edge to coaching here with Belichick and O’Brien. Won’t be surprised if Pats win 7 -6
Week 14 vs Chiefs L
It’s the Chiefs
Week 15 vs Broncos W
The Patriots track record in Denver is not great, but that was a Brady thing. Too much weed. It’s a new ear. Russ Corp is more focused on kissing babies than throwing footballs even with the over rated Sean Peyton at the helm. Another low scoring win for the Pats
Week 16 vs Bills L
I see the Patriots getting 2-3 wins in the division. Parse that out how ever you want.
Week 17 vs Jets W
Ditto from up above on the Division record. I would not be surprised if this is essentially a play in game for the Pats or Jets though.
Realistically this team should drop a few to the mediocre teams they face and have shown no evidence of being able to take down top QBs across the NFL. That more than likely equates to 9-10 wins with good play or a floor of 7 wins with shitty play or injuries. Twelve wins is what we are going here for. There is one way they get there. Mac Jones. He needs to take a leap and scoop up the 2-3 extra wins Belichick can’t coach them too. The game is played on the field and Mac Jones is the most important player on the field for the Patriots. If he excels so will the team all the way to twelve wins.
