Are the End Days here as a New England Sports Fan?
For 20 years the city of Boston and region of New England has had the most unprecedented run of success in sports history. All 4 major sport’s teams made multiple finals appearances and they all won at least once and in some cases, freaking SIX times! Before we discuss the doom allow us to relive these glory days.
Between the Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins, our Boston teams made 32 trips to the Conference Finals. They made 19 trips to The Championship Round. They won 12 Championships. The city doubled up in championships in 2004 (Red Sox & Patriots), 2008 (Red Sox & Celtics), and 2018 (Red Sox & Patriots). In 20 years there have only been EIGHT that Boston has not seen a Duck Boat Parade. We watched sports Giants roam our town the likes of Tom Brady, David Ortiz, Patrice Bergeron, Kevin Garnett, Bill Belichick, Pedro Martinez, Paul Pierce, Zedeno Chara, the list goes on. We witnessed miracles at Yankee Stadium in 2004 and in Atlanta 28-3. We saw records shattered and legends cemented into sports lore and we basked in that glory for all the world to see. Double birds flying and a cackle so deafening we nearly choked on our own arrogance. Oh and they saw. They foamed at the mouth with envy and hate just waiting for the day to dance on our graves and stomp on our cold dead hearts. Has that day come? Has the Devil finally come to demand his souls? I believe this to be such end of days.
Okay, did that feel good? Good. Suck on these lemons. In the past year or so Boston sports teams have lost Tom Brady, let me say that one again, Tom Brady, Mookie Betts, Zedeno Chara, and to a lesser extend but for posterity sake, Glass Gordon Hayward and even that screw loose, wack job Kyrie . We are talking about All- Stars, Legends, and Sports Royalty.
We watched the Red Sox go from a World Series winner with home grown talent blossoming and leading the charge to a franchise acting like a two bit hooker from Tampa picking at the scraps. The Celtics who once were criticized for having too much talent are now starting Semi Ojeleye at power forward. Nuff said. The Bruins maintain hope, but lets be honest. Given the age of their stars and frankly the history of the Boston Bruins should we not just be waiting for the bottom to fall out any day now? And the Patriots? Oh how the mighty have fallen. What a horse dick this one is to swallow. Brady wins his 7th ring and you barely scrape up 7 wins this season. Your solution to replace Tom Fucking Brady was that pickle jar hucking hack, Cam Newton? Woof. Woof.
I have said for a very long time that my children will suffer for my sins. And the sin of a New England sports fan is greed. Greed out the years. For Generations fans will suffer because of the riches we acquired over these last two decades and I wouldn’t change a God Damn thing. Boston, city of gold. Suck it Gen Z babies.