Wide Right. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Allow me to tell you a story. Of simpler times. This was a time I like to call the 90’s. There was no internet. Kids played outside. Starter Jackets were the shit. Presidential blow jobs were the most polarizing political topic the country had to fight about. America was still awesome and sports fans were pure.
In the 90’s, specifically the early 90’s the New England Patriots sucked balls. In 1992 they won 1 single game. This is coming off an era where they really sucked (minus the miraculous Super Bowl season only to get steam rolled by the ‘86 Bears). This was not a proud franchise to root for. So, do you know what we did? We rooted for our division. Because we aren’t all pumped up with internet sensationalism and cancel culture. There was a comradery. We didn’t hate the Bills. We rooted for the Bills. They were AFC East brethren. Fellow north easterns. They played in snowy conditions and wore the Red, White, and Blue. And they were good. Way better than the Patriots. We didn’t hate the Bills. We hated the fucking Jets. Snot nosed, suck-tard, big city, dinks. Fuck the Jets.
As I was saying, comradery. It’s gone now. Bill’s fans are assholes. I would like to pin it on the 20 years of dominance from the Patriots shoving them in a locker. Brady being the best QB to ever play in Buffalo’s stadium. All that hate us cause they aint us jazz. But, their asshole to everyone. Not just Patriots fans.
I get it. The salt build up over 17 years missing the playoffs is pretty intense. But, YOU HAVEN’T WON ANYTHING! And hopefully you never will. You arrogant pricks. Wide right is in your blood. Go back to the loveable losers we all knew an loved. It’s where you belong.
I could find zero empathy for the Bills or their fans on Sunday. I tried. I dug deep down in the depths where I hide the helmet catch, 18-1, Aaron Fucking Boone, Tuukka Puka: 2 goals in 4 shots, Meta World god damn Peace. The darkest parts of my sports fandom. I got nothing. Golden rule bitches. And if you think I’m being petty or too harsh. These guys motivated themselves using the 9/11 Terrorists as role models. Then their fans went on to go full Philly, pelting the Chiefs players from the stands and send death threats to poor Tyler Bass, the kicker.
Don’t be cunty, won’t be no cunty. Just sayin.
