What Do You Do When Football Is Over?
It’s February. It’s cold. The snow is gross and brown. You have frost bite on your balls every time you have to start your car and you can’t look forward to Sundays providing you with 10 straight hours of football bliss. So what to do?
Here are a couple laughable suggestions:
Read. Ha. You know how many books are in my house? 100’s. You know how many I have read? Incorrect. 3. I know you had the under there. Gotta keep your head on a swivel. Point is still valid. I am not reading on Sunday because movies exist. TV is guaranteed to be airing either Forest Gump, Shawshank, or Saving Private Ryan.
Hobbies. Like paint? Dr. Big Mac has told me that finger painting is not nearly as fun as it used to be and frankly harder than it looks. So now I’m cleaning up a mess and getting a stress headache? Pass
Work on your relationship. Pro tip. “Yes, babe.” Done. Next.
Exercise. My mental sweat during football season gets me to at least April. I have gone over every Play off scenario and mock draft 1,000 times. I feel pretty good about myself. When the weather turns I will take a walk and eat a banana. Hello Beach bod.
Masterbate. It’s a Natural birth control, but it’s too close to exercise. Can’t over do it.
Drink.
See ya in September.