The Nets just Poured James Harden’s Grease Fat on their Kyrie Irving Dumpster Fire.
James Harden found his way to Brooklyn after all. Hipsters will be hard pressed to find any available slices for the foreseeable future.
How the fuck does this Work!? Kyrie is off crying in his organic Cheerios pretending to save some Monks with heavy flow or whatever the fuck, James Harden just ate his way out of Houston now looking for a NYC apartment big enough for the entire population of The Greater Houston area strippers, and KD is currently swapping “I'm rubber -you’re glue” jabs with a 12 year old “investigating” his cookies and wang.
Thank God Jaylen came out fire so as Celtics fans we don’t have to root for this trash dump cookie monster.
Read on for some stellar off the cuff angry analysis.
On The Simple Minds Sports Show we predicted that this Nets team would not only acquire James Harden in exchange for all their young talent fucking themselves over AGAIN (See KG trade), but they would also completely fall apart by Christmas. Well, less than a month from Christmas this team is an absolute shit show.
Kyrie Irving is the most despicable player in the NBA who has some how topped his douchebaggery this year by literally just disappearing and not only that, but refusing to speak to his “coach” who he refused to recognize or his employer. Worst yet he couched this behavior in the shadow of a national tragedy. As his NBA brethren locked arms and took knees, he popped bottles at birthday parties. The list here could and will go on, but not here. There is so much more.
No, we have to move on to the 2nd most despicable player in the NBA. James Harden literally ate his way out of Houston. For 8 years he played GM for the Rockets and time after time failed at it. He sucked as a teammate flying private jets to parties in between games caring little about the competition. On the court he was the definition of a ball hog and one of the league’s most underachieving stars in the playoffs. He was blatantly insubordinate violating Covid rules on several occasions delaying his arrival to the 2020 summer bubble and disrupting the start to the 2021 season after a video surfaced of his partying at a Vegas strip club costing him $50K. Then he shows up for the season looking like the pilsbury dough boy playing worse than he has in 8 seasons outwardly quitting on his team and the franchise that has paid him at the top of the league and bent to his will at every turn. Moo you Cow.
Kevin Durant seems like the sympathetic figure in this and because of the competition he certainly falls to a distant 3rd in terms of problem children, but make no mistake this guy holds some responsibility. KD has not been deemed a “baby back bitch” for no reason. Firstly, the move to join the 73 win Warriors as the #2 player in the world was as gutless a move we’ve seen in league history. He is as soft skinned as they come for professional athletes and openly admits it with his countless burner accounts. And if you don’t think he was the Maestro in this Harden trade, you’re wacked. With Kyrie going all 14 year old pubescent pussy, KD needed another “star” next to him. The thought of leading a team of young hungry excellent players looking up to him sent a stream of warm lemon lime Gatorade shooting down his shorts.
This is the easiest team to hate, despise, and loathe we have had since the Lebron Heat. That Heat team looks like the 1980 US Miracle squad taking down the Soviets compared to this collection of over privileged, under educated, enormously talented, gutless, loser, pukes.