Positive Vibes Only

The NFL season has started. It is anticipated to not be great for Patriots fans, so the boys take an evening to shed some positivity on the situation. What is there to look for in week 1 vs the Bengals, a Bruins and Celtics minute, impromptu power rankings across the NFL and who are the worst starting QBs in the league? Don’t snort cum PLUS there’s an “internet outage” in Maryland.

  • Positive Vibes Only: Patriots talk

  • HEADLINES with The OBVIOUS ONE

  • Bruins and Celtics Minute

  • Around the NFL

  • Top 5: Worst Starting QBs in the NFL

  • Simplest Minds of the Week

SHOW NOTES:

5 min Cold Open

Opening Takes: 

Rich: The NFL and the Stream wars can fuck off

Bobby: 

Ray: 

Show Rundown

Positive Vibes Only: Patriots Pros heading into the season

HEADLINES - Bruins and Celtics Check in

Real Football: Pats vs Bengals

Around the NFL 

Top 5: Worst QBs in the NFL

Simplest Minds of the Week

Welcome

15 min Positive Vibes Only: Patriots Pros heading into the season

They can win?

 - defense, running, no turnovers, no penalties

Rookies/ young players

 - Keon White . best player in pre season

 - Jaylen Polk will be a solid #2 possession receiver in the NFL 

 - Pop Douglas if put in the right spots and learns to get down can be explosive

* Sidney Sow or Layden Robinson pop. 

        - Owenu at RT.  GOOD

  - Christian Gonzales???????

  - Marcus Jones??????

 

Dumb teams

 - Will they know how to take advantage of Patriots flaws? 

 - Will they beat themselves?

- Are the Patriots now a dumb team?

AVP can develop QBs and coach offense

 - · In his 27th season in the NFL and 18th as an assistant coach following nine seasons as a quarterback (1995-03).

· Joined the Browns in 2020 and helped the offense to some of its best numbers in generations. Cleveland's 408 points were its second-most in franchise history, while the club also finished with its second-best total in scrimmage touchdowns (48) and tied for the second-most first downs (355). The Browns finished third in the league in rushing with an average of 148.4 yards per game (the team's best since 1978). Helped RT Jack Conklin earn first team AP All-Pro honors and G Joel Bitonio and G Wyatt Teller earn second team honors. Bitonio and RB Nick Chubb were selected to the Pro Bowl.

· Helped the Browns lead the NFL in rushing average in 2021 with a 5.09 mark, the highest average by a Browns team since 1966. The team's 6,090 scrimmage yards were the fourth most by the club in a single season. Chubb finish second in the league in rushing yards en route to a Pro Bowl selection.

· Helped Bitonio and Teller to Pro Bowl selections in 2021, the first time a pair of Browns guards made the Pro Bowl since 1967. In addition, Bitonio was selected as a 2021 All-Pro first team honoree, while Teller was named to the second team.

· While coaching the quarterbacks in Cincinnati from 2018-19, helped QB Andy Dalton combine for 6,060 passing yards and 37 touchdowns in 24 starts, while guiding QBs Ryan Finley (three in 2019) and Jeff Driskel (five in 2018) in the first starts of their NFL careers.

· Spent four seasons (2014-17) coaching the quarterbacks in Green Bay. During that span, QB Aaron Rodgers tied for second in the NFL with 125 touchdowns. In 2016, Rodgers led the NFL with 40 touchdown passes and became just the second QB in NFL history (Tom Brady, 2015) to post 600-plus attempts and seven or fewer INTs in a season. Rodgers was named NFL MVP in 2014 after totaling 4,381 passing yards, 38 touchdowns, five interceptions and a 112.2 rating.

· As running backs coach (2012-13), tutored RB Eddie Lacy as he set franchise rookie records for rushing yards (1,178) and rushing TDs (11) on his way to a Pro Bowl selection and AP's NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year honors in 2013.

Hey Why not

 - It's football

 - finally turning the page on Belichick

Bad news OR good news? 


They don't have a plan for Maye

 - Cowards

* If he is okay to start week 2 because of injury he can start week 1. OR sign a vet and set a time frame to bring Maye in.

(the infighting has already begun and they call it collaboration)


5 min HEADLINES with The OBVIOUS ONE

* Bruins low ball Swayman

* Tatum and Brown top 2 in odds for NBA MVP.

    - Jaylen Brown is out for blood. 

10 min What to look for vs Bengals

- O-line

 - Jacoby Brissett making the best of the offense

 - Can they stop the run

 - How aggressive is the defense - who the hell is DeMarcus Covington

  - Does it burn them? 

QUICK BREAK 

10 min Around the NFL

Aiuke and Lamb deals 

 - Will Patriots ever be spenders? 

* Currently 11th in cash spending for 2024


Impromptu power rankings

Can anyone in the AFC Challenge the Chiefs

AFC Stinks

Chiefs

Ravens

Dolphins 

Texans

Bengals

Bills

Jets

Jags

Browns

Beginning of the end for Bengals

NFC is strong

49ers

Eagles

Lions

Rams

Cowboys

Packers

Vikings

Falcons

Do Cowboys break through? 

I think the Bears are gunna stink 

Surprises? 

Excited for? 

TOP 5

10 min Top 5: Worst NFL Starting QBs

Bo Nix

Bo knows

Sam Richard Darnold

career

59.7 comp %

63 Tds - 56 Ints

78.3 rating 

best season threw 3,024 yards. 19 tds 13 ints in 13 games. 84.3 rating

Gardner Minshew

- 7th worst completion % 62.2% in 2023

Career

rating 90.2

59 tds - 24 Ints

best season - 2020 JAX. 8 games started: 2259 yards 16 td - 5 ints. 95.9 rating

Daniel Jones

Career comp % 64.3 

62 Tds 40 Ints. 

8502 rating

in 2020 - 11 TD , 10 INTs in 14 games. 62.5 comp %

Will Levis

2023 - 9 games

 - Worst comp % - 58.4%

- 8 tds - 4 ints

84.2 rating 1,808 yards

Jacoby Brissett

career

61.3 Comp %

51 - 23 Td - int

85.3 rating

Best season: 2019 IND - 15 games 60.9% - 2942 yds-18tds-6Ints - 88 rating

Bryce Young

 - 73.7 worst rating 2023 (Mac Jones zach wilson were next. Joe Burrow 15th)

 - 2nd worst comp % - 59.8%

Jayden Daniels

Rookie on shitty team

Deshaun Watson

Handsy and stiff

injuries

2023 - 6 games. 61.4 comp%. 1115 yards. 7 tds.  4 ints.  84.3 rating

2022 - 6 games  58.2 comp %. 1102 yards. 7 tds. 5 ints. 79.1 rating

Best season - 2020 -70.2 comp % - 4823 yards. 33 tds.  7 ints. 112.4 rating (Total outlier)

Russell Wilson

wierdo

2023 - 15 games 3,070 yards. 66.4 comp% -  26 tds. 8 ints. 98 rating

Caleb Williams

wants partial ownership of team

didnt beat good competition

 - shit sportsmanship afterlosses

sobbed in mommys arms

nail polish more important than game plan

entitlement

noone went to his birthday party

they celebrated when he was drafted - and off the team

5 min SIMPLEST MINDS OF THE WEEK

Ninkovich slappin Mac Jones

[ Play Clip]


Drake Maye's AI career

 - https://www.instagram.com/p/C_gj1aPSiWy/?igsh=MWEyb2VsNGZ4amt1cA%3D%3D&img_index=1

Burglar contracts syphilis and two types of herpes after snorting 50 grams of dried human semen thinking it illegal drugs

In December 2022, an old story gained new life online thanks to its absurd premise. It was shared in the form of a World News Daily Report article headlined "Burglar snorts dried sperm thinking it was cocaine, contracts herpes and syphilis." 

This article, which has been online since November 2019, claimed that the burglary took place in northern Florida and the culprit was 29-year-old Jerry Smith. According to the report:

The [burglar] then fell apart, crying like a baby, and explained he had snorted large quantities of semen he had stolen a few weeks ago, believing it was either cocaine or heroin.

It took deputies a few hours to corroborate his confession and they were finally able to find the corresponding police report.

The victim, 34-year old Jenny White, returned to her Silver Springs Shores apartment last month to discover that several sex toys and accessories as well a collection of pornographic movies were missing.

Ms. White, a hard time Tinder user, also reported a very unique item stolen: a crystal jar containing semen from hundreds of her sexual partners.

The young woman says she wondered why the thief took her semen jar and was astonished when the sheriff deputies told her he had snorted it.

This article is a work of satire and originated on World News Daily Report, a website that describes itself at the bottom of each page as assuming "all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle." 

Other stories on this website include, "Texas man admits kidnapping 79 people to anally probe them while disguised as an alien" and "Woman sues Samsung for $1.8 million after cell phone gets stuck inside her vagina."

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