Lets Talk about Tom Brady. Using our Brain

The very sweet and dim witted Bottom of the Totem Pole of dumb, aka The Obvious One, aka Dr. Big Mac graced us with his sweeping voice of desperation this morning in his blog “Lets talk about Tom Brady”. In it he sounded like a man whose brain engine is back firing on one cylinder (I know nothing about car engines)

The idea that we should all hate Brady and root against him blindly in these playoffs is just fool hardy whiney baby shit. The Tom Brady - Bill Belichick break up is a complicated love story with an even more complicated and heart wrenching ending. I’m talking Bruce Willis talking to his daughter, Liv Tyler, just before saving the world from Armageddon, after punking that cry baby bitch Afflect.

Here’s the bottom line, Tom Brady is the greatest athlete we have ever seen and as New England fans we were lucky enough to root for him, AND the greatest football coach of all time for an unprecedented 20 years, 6 super bowl wins and just a embarrassing amount of success. Yes, if you make me pick I was and I am “Team Bill” because TB12 super juice can only prolong life for so long. Which gives Brady a shorter shelf life than Belichick.

Does it make me sick watching the pitcher perfect form and chiseled chin dropping dimes to some of the best WR’s in the league as a vivid image of Cam Newton hurling a football into the dirt like a keg toss haunts my dreams? Yes. Do I give a fuck that Brady doesn’t want to live in the cold anymore? No. He’s old as balls. Old people move to Florida. And get bent if you honestly tell yourself you “like” New England Winters.

Do I believe Brady became a whiney Diva at the end after pushing Jimmy G out than being flaky about his future? Yup. Does Bill Making $25 million a year and Tom making $15 million a year make sense to you? Nope.

Do I have faith Belichick can re-build this team into a playoff team? Yup. Do I want Brady to win a Super Bowl with another team? Fuck no. I want him to throw for a billion TD’s and let Bruce Arians and Todd Bowls trip over their Kangal hats and play sheets of single coverage on Tyreek Hill to blow the game. Preferably against the Saints. Because, the Bucs? The Bucs Tom? Gross. Who Dat.