The Patriots Shouldn't Fire Jerod Mayo: They should Promote Him.
The New England Patriots have a Jerod Mayo problem. The anointed face of the franchise is nothing more than a corporate stooge. The man has never once talked about football. Reports have surfaced that his preseason meetings with external candidates were "light on football". He only talks in the nonsensical ramblings of metaphor and hyperbole which sound good to the untrained ear. However, if you are listening; he isn't saying anything. He is not good at this job. He fooled a declining old man into thinking he was the next great New England Patriots head coach.
Unfortunately for us fans, it isn't that simple of a problem to fix. Rich powerful men like Robert Kraft do not like to look stupid and admit they made a mistake. Basically, they're big babies about it. This complicates what seemingly is the obvious decision to move on from a coach in over his head. In a job where results matter to a lot of people. I have a solution to this problem. Because I am smart as fuck and I know how to navigate the corporate world and how to avoid its pitfalls. I am a corporate guru.
The New England Patriots should promote Jerod Mayo to a front office position. I don't care where. Everyone saves face. The Kraft's are able to retool the football operations department without having to admit they made a mistake in Mayo's appointment. Mayo is handed a cushy job where he can spout nonsense all day. Johnny Kraft gets his way. You might ask why you would promote someone if they were doing a bad job. The answer to that question is simple. Because they won't be your problem anymore. And that's all that matters really. Passing off a problem is a classic corporate America move.
For those of you in the corporate realm you know this is a common tactic to get rid of the dead wood. We call them dead wood. It’s a term my fellow corporate cronies and I use to describe the baddies. You know one's you don’t want to fire but can't have working for you anymore because they suck. It's a fun way to do it. You can even give fun dead wood names to them. For example, if you have an Asian baddie then you can call them bamboo. Or, an old one that’s a sequoia. The ones that always ask to work from home that’s a house plant. See it's fun. The strategy is simple. Once the opportunity presents itself; you leverage your influence with the hiring party to gas them up and get them the job. Then poof problem solved.
I'm a solutions-oriented guy. I think this is about as good as it gets to get the Pats out of this mess. The decision on the Mayo/ Wolf regime is coming up quickly and I haven't heard anything better. Im open to suggestions here but good luck on finding anything better. Someone please forward this to the Kraft team.
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