Give Em the Goo!
These boys need that Sticky Icky, Ohh Wee!
I get uncomfortable watching grown men cry. So watching Tyler Gasnow and Gerritt Cole whine like toddlers this week has put me in an unsettling nauseous rage.
Good god. You got hurt because you couldn’t use the super glue Tyler? Give me a fucking break. How do you explain the epidemic in Baseball with pitchers arm injuries over the past 5 - 10 years then? Were they made to quit their cheating substance cold turkey for no reason? Oh by the way MLB told you and everyone else they would be watching for this shit last year! You had a full year to adjust if you felt you needed to, but no! You needed the 97 mph cheese because the dorks upstairs say so and you want to win a Cy Young and go to the All-Star game. Notice he never mentioned winning a World Series for the organization that gave him a shot or the fans that pay his salary.
The balls on these pitchers. MLB saw the most no hitters in 2 months than they had seen in the past 7 years. You have respected guys like Charlie Blackmon says shit like this:
“I’m tired of hearing people say that players only want to hit home runs,” says Rockies rightfielder Charlie Blackmon. “That’s not why people are striking out. They’re striking out because guys are throwing 97 mile-an-hour super sinkers, or balls that just go straight up with all this sticky stuff and the new-baseball spin rate. That’s why guys are striking out, because it’s really hard not to strike out.”
Like, dude, you were cheating. Now you can’t. And you’re gunna cry about it? Did Rafeal Palmeiro cry when they took his steroids away? No! He lied directly to Congress like a man! Did Altuve cry when they took his beeper and trashcan away? No. He hit .150 and took it like the tiny little man that he is. Suck it up sticky fingies.
These entitled assholes. And it’s not all their fault. Entitled pricks don’t get to be the way they are with out enablers. Enter, MLB. Manfred is a sackless walking tit. Useless. This league is so afraid of their dandelion players they can’t even suspend them with out their tail between their legs. Ten games with pay?! That is laughable. As a Red Sox fan, thank god this is the punishment because these guys blow. Bust that shit back out boys. Imagine the shit Garrett Richards would be spitting to the media if anyone cared what he had to say? Oh he spouted off anyway?!
Richards threw 84 pitches -- 64 four-seam fastballs and 20 sliders. The spin rates on both were roughly 250 RPMs below his season averages of 2,593 and 2,885, respectively.
"I just didn't really feel convicted with any of my breaking balls tonight, so I pretty much threw all fastballs," Richards said. "I think tonight spoke for itself. I'm not going to get caught up in it all. But I'll definitely say it's starting to affect people in their careers. So we're going to follow the rules, but this is the game you're going to get."
The Red Sox and Braves combined for 26 hits, 18 runs, and three home runs. The game lasted four hours and 10 minutes.
Get used to it, Richards said.
"Be prepared for four-hour long games and some interesting things," Richards said. "I don't know. I'm just grateful that I got this far into my career before this point."
These babies are acting like they are being persecuted. Garrett Richards holds the very best spin rate on a curve ball in baseball. Want to guess how many curveballs he threw last game? Zero! LOL. You were cheating you freaking dopes!
The first 9 games after the MLB sent their memo the Red Sox starting pitcher’s ERA double to over 8 Earned Runs per start. They are coming off a 2 game sweep of the Braves in which the pitching staff gave up 16 runs and were bailed out because their line up put up 20 runs in the two games. Give them their Goo!
So, although Glasnow and Cole come off as giant pussies here who can’t read a room, the MLB’s incompetence is yet again mostly to blame. Theo and Griffy JR. we are relying on you. Move the mound back, open the strike zone, make these guys learn how to pitch and hit again and smash the tears out of their faces!
“Hey what’s the average run time for the game this year after all your stellar rule adjustments? Asking for a friend.”
“Oh still about 4 hours?”
“Get bent! I’ll watch Twitter clips on replay of Mac Jones’ chubby pouch dabbing on Cam Newton’s grave.”
You’re dead to me baseball.
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