The Celtics Championship dreams rest in the pale hands of Sam Hauser
The Celtics are loaded. Their bench is not. Coach Mazz has heralded his team with 17 captains and 6 starters. I’m no math guy, but something seems off.
Okay, sorry to start off with an immediate tangent but I’m going to have to retard my main point. If the Celtics fall short of winning a title look no further than this freaking guy, Joey Mazz. Last time I heard something as stupid as we have 17 captains, John Farrell was telling us the Red Sox had 5 number 1’s. The Sox finished last in the AL East that year with a 78-84 record. I’m not calling this year’s Celtics the 2015 Red Sox. I’m just saying Joe Mazzula telling us he has 17 captains is a fucking stupid as John Farrell telling us he has 5 number 1’s. Dumb ass.
Truth be told if the Celtics fall short of a title it’s because Tatum sucked, but I digress. Enough tangents! This isn’t LOKI Season Two on Disney + - bundle with Hulu and ESPN+ for the low price of $24.95 a month (Sponsorships available). Back to Sammy Buckets!
Sam Hauser is tied for the most minutes off the bench with 16.3. Him and P- Rabbit Pritchard both share that amount of court time off the pine if we are to follow Coach Mazzula’s math and their six starters. Speaking of the six starters. Through three games their average minutes played are as follows:
Tatum : 36
Brown: 34
Holiday: 32.7
White: 30.7
Porzingus: 30.7
Horford: 22
Ideally I think you’d like to knock about 4 minutes a game off of those numbers for everyone for the regular season. Tatum and Brown have proven themselves as All-Stars and elite NBA players. Now it’s time to start getting into the best all time discussions. You can’t do that with out championships. They’ll need fresh legs to get it done. Lebron has averaged 38 minutes a game in his career. Kobe averaged 36. Tatum may be able to be that guy, but his drop in play in the 2021 NBA Finals says other wise. Brown has shown injuries are a concern. That being said, he doesn’t get enough credit for his availability. Tatum has laced em up more than any player in basketball since he came into the league. It’s a massive statement on today’s era of load management. Tatum has also laced em up more than any other player since he came into the league. It takes a toll. Can we dial that back a little bit on a Wednesday in November vs the Hornets? Only if the bench can step up.
Realistically this team will only need like 7.5 players in the playoffs. You always need someone off the bench to give you a spark. Kelly Olynk game 7. Grant Williams game 7. These guys have their place for sure. I don’t think the Celtics have 7.5 players right now. They’re missing the .5 and maybe even the 7.
We all love Pritchard, but he’s going to have to prove he can be on the court in the playoffs defensively. His size is a question mark. After Pritchard, Hauser in his 16.3 minuets is averaging 3.7 points and 3.7 rebounds. He’s designated as their knock down shooter, but is streaker than Dr. Big Mac’s scundies on a Wing Ding Sunday. “Jacoby” Oshae Brissett showed a spark last game. That’s about what you can expect from him and the rest of this bench group in Banton, Stevens, Mykhailiuk. Inconsistent sparks like my Dad’s old dube lighter. And don’t even get me started on that stiff Kornett. Talk about a walking stereo type. So white. So, so white.
Wyc is all in on this year’s roster financially and will most likely extend the spending at least into next year with this group. They have a $6 million TPE available and enough draft capital to make the necessary moves. Don’t let your Championship come up short on a Sammy Buckets corner brick.