College Basketball blows
Unpopular opinion alert. College basketball is infuriating to watch. They just are not that good. If I wanted to watch kids brick wide open jump shots from the baseline, I’d watch the Celtics. Which I do. And guess what? They blow too.
The easy opinion to have here is College hoops is better than the NBA because the kids try every night and every possession. They show hustle and grit and it’s a full filling game, yadda yadda yadda. Cool. They suck. I’m not saying that all of that isn’t true. The college game is full of maniacs running at full speed 100% of the time giving everything they have and the NBA feels like most regular season games the guys are just throwing it out there. Here’s the deal. Even with NBA players throwing it out there it’s still better basketball. Don’t get me wrong a Knicks or Timberwolves, or currently constituted Celtics game has a ton of trash basketball going on, but I’m sure we could start picking out some mid majors and ID a couple fucking putrid stinkers too. That’s just taking the low hanging fruit.
At it’s best, College basketball doesn’t hold a candle to the NBA. People don’t watch March Madness for the purity of the game. They watch it more or less to get drunk at noon on a Thursday, but also for the chaos that insues. That chaos insues because there are 17 and 18 year old kids running around like chickens with their heads cut off at the end of every single one of these games. Oh, your down 4 with 1:30 left? Fucking hero 3’s galore! Pressure free throws to seal the game? Clank. Clunk. What’s the last March Madness game you saw where a team executed a play at the end of the game to get a good look and sink the shot? I’ll give you a hint, never. Every single buzzer beater highlight is some crazy Hail Mary play. I understand there is entertainment in that. I understand that is what makes March Madness so popular. You should understand it drive me freaking bananas.
Here’s a 10 out of 10 situation for ya. I would rather watch Dame Lillard or Steph Curry in the closing seconds with the game on the line run a pick and roll to get themselves 1/2 cunt hair of air space and hit a 30 footer to win than watch some jamoke close his eyes and hurl a 65 footer 10 out of 10 times. Give me Kobe on the elbow. Duncan on the block, Kyrie… ah naw fuck Kyrie. It just drives me insane watching these kids build cities with their bricks and dumbass decisions.
And never mind the fact that at NCAA Division 1 basketball it’s basically the best athletes who are winning all the time any way. Not much different than the NBA. Only after the College kid wins he leaves his team after 1 year. I guess, similar to Lebron. I digress.
Plus as a fan of the sport but not of a school it’s impossible to get invested into the game. The one and dones run that sport. They monopolize the headlines and deteriorate the competition and level of play. How do I invest in a mercenary just biding his time until the NBA Draft? Last time I checked Payton Pritchard didn’t catch a lot of time on ESPN. How am I supposed to get invested in a team if the team is wildly different every single year and I’m not a card carrying member of some Kentucky basketball douche bag club? Naw, I’ll slog my way through an NBA regular season and enjoy the last couple rounds of the playoffs. Maybe I’ll see ya at the bar in March.