Alex Van Pelt is fine

The immediate response to the Alex Van Pelt hiring as Offensive Coordinator for the New England Patriots seems to come with an uncertatinty. An uncertainty in how to act. So we default to truth. Which is to be cynical assholes about it. He sucks, the Browns suck, what has he ever done, blah, blah,blah. My response to that is, who did you want?

We are in uncharted territory as Patriots fans. Post dynasty. Post Belichick. We are in the darkness. And in the darkness the Krafts has decided to plow forward with the complete unknown. All I’ll say is, it better work. Jerod Mayo is a 37 year old head coach with 5 years of experience walking in the shadow of a giant. They have completely rebuilt their coaching staff and coordinators with the ever approaching horizon of free agency and the draft approaching. They did not bring in Harbaugh or Vrabel. They did not bring in a GM with cache or experience. They have gone young, and overtly worked to distance themselves from Belichick in the media. It better work.

So, when it comes to Alex Van Pelt as the offensive coordinator, I say he’s fine. the name doesn’t scream anything spectacular. He has been a non play calling OC for the Browns for 4 years and bounced around between Greenbay, Baltimore, and Buffalo in various offensive coaching positions including QB coach. Honestly, he checks a lot of boxes. The Browns ran the zone run scheme, that the Pats tried to impalement with the walking nut sack. This guy has actually done it. That offense is popular because it dumbs down the decision making for these bird brain College quarterbacks. Thank Belichick, because you’re now in the position of desperately needing a bird brain college QB to be told where to throw the ball into his head set. Ven Pelt has experience here. He has been a QB coach. With said need for a young QB, you want a guy who has experience coaching QB’s. The previous front runner, Nick Caley, did not have that experience. Van Pelt is also and ex QB himself, spending 9 years in the league mostly as a back up in Buffalo.

The only thing Van Pelt really hasn’t done is call plays on the regular. But, guess what? None of the candidates available called plays. Most OC’s don’t at this stage of the NFL. Teams have moved towards young tight assed head coaching with offensive pedigree who call their own plays and leave the defense to someone else. The other “knock” on Van Pelt? He’s old. He’s 53. Your Head Coach is 37 and your defensive coordinator Demarcus Cousins is 34 and still in diapers. I’ll take a little seasoning in the coordinator room. This also could help quell some concern about a successful OC being poached for a head coaching position. A 53 year old has seen the ups and downs through coaching ranks in the NFL. He’s not some dumb full of cum 30 year old with wild ambition. Ambition is dangerous. We are inundated with a AAU generation of self serving prick who’ve been told they can be anybody they want if they try hard. Guys like Mike McDaniel are celebrated as some incredible underdog story. Fuck outta here. The NFL needs less nepotism and little more “know your role”. Maybe Van Pelt will under stand his stature in the league and give you solid offensive base to work off of. Plus, the Patriots are going to suck so there’s not real threat of him being poached. This coaching staff should be able to develop a real solid chemistry as they wallow in the basement of the league.

I’m just saying, if Alex Van Pelt isn’t the guy for you who is? Look, he’s fine. It’s not going to matter unless they pull a rabbit out of their assholes in the personal department anyway. Relax, Alex Van Pelt is just fine.

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