Moustache rides are cheaper in Florida, but Fuck just as hard in New England

It’s March 1st. As of now the Patriots starting QB is Jarrett Stidham. I’ll give you a second to dry heave. Two franchise Quarter Backs have openly left the Patriots off their list of preferred landing spots. Multiple reports have come out basically saying the Patriots are too cheap to pay for a good QB, and Bill’s baby Yoda isn’t any closer to leaving San Francisco.

So that means we are back sifting through the shit heap. And what have we found? Sex. That’s right. Stick your hand in this pile of mashed up turkey thighs and grab hold. We’re talking about a glorious source of power in the form of a lip caterpillar crawling across the face of one, Gardner Minshew.

Greg Bedard of Boston Sports Journal has Minshew linked to the Patriots as a stop gap with upside and the Patriots taking someone in the draft. I say bring him in. The kid has Moxy and most importantly it almost certainly squashes any chance of me piercing my eyes with a stick having to watch Cam Newton again.