The concerns about Celtics new ownership are missing a key factor
Here’s the warning we are hearing about the sale of the Boston Celtics. The Boston Celtics just got sold for a record-shattering $6.1 billion, and it could be another example of the deteriorating state of professional sports ownership.
This isn't just a transaction. It's a potentially catastrophic pivot point for one of the most storied franchises in NBA history. Steve Pagliuca's rejected bid isn't just sour grapes—it's a strategic warning shot across the bow of sports fandom. $6.1 billion. Let that sink in. It's the most money ever exchanged for a professional sports franchise in North America. But here's the kicker: this isn't about passion. This is about cold, calculated private equity money flooding into a sacred athletic institution.
Pagliuca pulled back the curtain on what could be a deeply troubling trend. His offer—fully financed by committed individuals—was trumped by an influx of private equity capital. Translation? Wall Street is now calling the shots in the hallowed halls of the Boston Garden. Or so they say.
What does private equity mean for a sports franchise? It means:
Potential debt loading that could strangle future competitive capabilities
Prioritizing financial engineering over athletic performance
A razor-sharp focus on balance sheets over championship banners
The Celtics aren't just a team. They're a 17-time NBA championship legacy. And now, they're potentially being reduced to a financial asset—another line item in some investment firm's portfolio.
Pagliuca's public statement isn't just a complaint. It's a prophetic warning. "No debt or private equity money that would potentially hamstring our ability to compete" isn't just corporate speak. It's a direct challenge to the new ownership's potential strategic limitations.
But, wait. Hey Pags, you and lil Wycey pulled the wool over our eyes for 20 years. Who the fuck is Irv Grousbeck, again? So, spare me on the parting shots. You and Wyc got in a tiff, it cost you your franchise, and you’re a little butt hurt. Right?
Is it true that Billy Chisholm could come slash the pay roll and become a John Henry? Sure, but it at least took The Fenway group 20 years and 4 championships to turn it into a line item. I expect the same for the Celtics. A honeymoon period should be expected. You know why? Because of Kimberley Ford Chisholm. Billy’s wife. The proud author of the book “Hump”. If anyone knows about a lovely honeymoon embrace it’s our guy Billy C. And the love affair even continues beyond. Check this out. an Excerpt from “Hump True Tales of Sex After Kids”
“but we found plenty of ways to fuck (see suggestions for Private Time in the pages ahead). We wedged intimacy into unlikely snatches of time. We did it on the closet floor when the urchins crowded us out of bed. During those dark years we discovered new positions and couples’ porn and vibrators because of how desperate the happy trio—”
You want to tell me this guy aint gunna get freaky over some contract details or landing a big free agent? The Celtics are this Billionaire’s new toy. It’s Mrs. Chisolm’s new Hitahci Magic Wand. She is obsessed with post Baby sex and Joe Mazzula and now she owns him. You do the math.
So, don’t worry Celtics fans. We have got a pleasurable future in the immediate aftermath of this sale.
