Joe Mazzula is the Belichick replacement we needed
Joe Mazzula is just the right kind of crazy for this team. The Celtics look to be the first team in the NBA to repeat as champions since the Durant Warriors. What once was a predetermination when it comes to NBA championships has become the exception to the rule when talking about back to backs or mini 1/2 decade dynasties. Even given the Celtics strength on paper there are no guarantees. Joe Mazzula understands this. He actually probably loves it. Like the last championship coach in this town, Bill Belichick, Joe Mazzula thrives in an environment that allows him to diminish his players past accomplishments. Boston was meant for that kind of mentality.
Sure, there may be times where I can hear more Kyrie than Belichick from a guy like Psycho Joe but on balance, let just say he’s growing on me. He’s presenting strong Belichickian Vibes. As long as he can hold off the Kyrie Cuntyness.
Here are some of his greatest hits just form the last week or so.
No ones invited to his funeral
When asked about the Pressures facing this team, Mazzula’s response was the following;
"We're all going to be dead soon, and it really doesn't matter anymore. So there's zero pressure," he told reporters Monday. "You have an opportunity to carry the organization forward, to double down on the tradition and history of what this organization has. And what else would you expect than someone expecting you to win all the time?"
"It's not pressure," Mazzulla said. "There's nothing anyone in this circle can do to me that's going to impact my identity and who I am as a person or a coach. We're either going to win or we're not, and 40 years from now, none of you are invited to my funeral and that's it."
This is creeping into Kyrie territory, but he missed the diatribe on earth and death and the spirit world. The philosophical angle is still here, though. Nothing matters to him including the opinions of the people who help make him a millionaire (money is a construct created to control the masses so who needs it anyway?)((His wife probably)) because life is just the beginning lets go hug some trees.
The Belichick motivation to a similar response completely disregarding the opinions of others, because everyone else is dumb as shit and he is god king, bow to him and his eight (six) rings.
He loves the taste of blood and hates giant rings
Bonafide lunatic. I can’t believe their wasn’t a follow up to this.
“I’m sorry Joe, you wanted it to taste like blood?”
“Yes. The blood of our enemies. Skol, bitch”
He’s got a point about the ring. The championship ring craze has to start to correct itself. This guys can’t even where it out to flaunt in front of pretty desirables. Mazzula is probably going to melt it down and make bullets for his prepper bunker. (I’m envisioning the scene out of Mel Gibson’s re-make of Braveheart, The Patriot. The minute men sitting around a fire as Mel melts his dead sons toy soldier and molds them into musket balls to tear through the pasty skin of those cheek British fucks)
Tatum gets no breaks
Interviewer: "It seems to me that Jayson has to deal with unfair criticism-
Joe: "-Gets to deal with."
Interviewer: "Yeah."
Joe's Response:
"He gets to deal with it. It's the ultimate compliment.
You know, and that's what we talked about.
Like, this is what you asked for.
You asked to be one of the best players in the NBA
on the best team in the NBA, with an opportunity,
uh you know to be an icon for the league for a long, long time.
This is what you asked for. "
This the best thing I’ve heard him say. In a time of professional sports full of a generation of Gen Z weenies Mazzula refuses to coddle. Udoka had a hard approach as well, but something tells me it would not have been as focused or direct or impactful with these guys. Probably because his head was on dicking down most of the female front office staff half the time. Jayson Tatum under weaker leadership and guidance could have been susceptible to the fate of most of his Dukie NBA brethren. Underachieving bitchy weirdo losers. This is very Belichickean in nature, but again Bill wouldn’t waste his time on the thoughts of his star player. We aren’t talking about open heart surgery here.
This team isn’t great
“This team, the 2024-25 Celtics, is not great, yet. That’s it right there,” Mazzulla told reporters ahead of the season opener against the Knicks. “Do we have the potential to be? Yes. The key word ‘yet’ is very important. Do we have great talent? Yes. Do we have great players? Yes. Do we have a great foundation? Yes.
“Is this ’24-25 team great yet? No, because we haven’t been in a game. It just takes time and every season is different. Assuming that you’re just going to [do what you did] in the past doesn’t necessarily mean this is going to work now. You have to stay open-minded to do something different.”
This is Belichickean. Feed it into my veins. This shit is what leads to multiple championships. Just stop shooting 60 threes a game
Joey Mazz took his lumps when he was thrust into the position of head coach. We questioned his approach and inexperience. Ultimately it’s about the players in that league, but with out proper motivation and guidance even the most talented can come up short. It feels good having another manic asshole in post games to listen to.
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