Cam Newton is back with the Patriots, And Our Pet’s Head’s are falling off!
Bill Belichick is The Gas Man and we are Lloyd and Harry. What the fuck is going on!?
Cam Newton signs back with the Patriots on a 1 year $14 Million incentive laden “prove it just a little better this time” deal. What a gut punch this morning. Everyone paying attention to the Patriots knew they had to make an upgrade at QB this season. Week 17 was the last we would have to see of Cam. It was a shot at an ex MVP and it didn’t work. Fine. One bad season after the Brady departure in the year of Covid? We can deal with that. We even have made peace with the fact Tom Brady’s time here just had to come to an end. There were some reasons for hope. Adam Schefter came out and reported the Patriots would be parting ways with Cam Newton. Jimmy G had been rumored to be on the outs in San Francisco. There was as many as 18 teams looking for a different QB to start the season. The Patriots could certainly make a play at a respectable veteran who doesn’t throw the ball like a jar of pickles .
But as this off season has trickled on, the Cam Rumors started picking up. Why? Because the Patriots have royally fucked up their transition at QB. You want to throw cheap and stubborn on the list I won’t fight you. We know Bill wants to coach guys he likes and they have a budget for the QB position that is arrogantly low. But, the biggest reason Cam is a Patriot today is because Bill backed himself into a corner and will never be forced to over extend for a player ever. That means Jimmy was his 1st choice, but he can’t get him before Free Agency starts and nobody wants to come play for a team with out a Quarter Back. Whether you have $68 Million in Cap space or not there isn’t a respectable pass catcher in the league that looks at Jarrett Stidham and says that’s my guy.
Cam is the back slide in a relationship.
It’s there. It’s comfortable. No need to over extend yourself and get hurt. But, he wasn’t right for you in the first place. He hasn’t changed. He still doesn’t want kids, doesn’t connect emotionally, and still holds the ball like a Nerf Vortex at the fucking goal line.
Are you kidding me Bill!!! This guy? This hot trash is your back slide? We wanted that 4th of July Slip Slide where adults get banged up and take rides in their undies ALL the way back to Jimmy.
And please spare me the “he’s here to back up and mentor.” Or “He didn’t have weapons” or “they are still in on veteran QB or they are drafting the starter in the 1st round.” Has no one been paying attention for the past 20 years? Bill Belichick give zero fucks about your thoughts or predictions. Ya, Cam said all the right things, playerd hard, was a great teammate, I think he could even marginally improve his stats because how could you not after 8 TDs and 10 INTS? All of it doesn’t matter. Bill will win or lose with Cam Newton because you said he couldn’t and he said he could. (And no one else wants to play for him apparently) End of story. News flash Bill, You will lose. Because Cam is Cashed.
Source
Rank
32
Cam Newton
New England Patriots · Year 10
Individual Rank: Bhanpuri: 31 | Blair: 32 | Filice: 31 | Parr: 32
2020 stats: 15 games | 65.8 pct | 2,657 pass yds | 7.2 ypa | 8 pass TD | 10 INT | 592 rush yds | 12 rush TD | 1 fumble lost
Blair: The most surprising thing is not that Newton will have to find the right situation for his skill set as an aging dual-threat QB -- it's that Bill Belichick couldn't provide that for him. Here's hoping Newton gets the chance to author a proper later-stage chapter to his career after COVID-19 and a subpar supporting cast waylaid his dalliance with the Patriot Way.
So I hope you are happy Belichick. On the same day you snapped Pete’s neck by signing Cam back here, Brady does Brady things and saves $19 Million for the Bucs in a restructured extension after winning his 7th Super Bowl at 43 years old. Good Call Gas Man!